Hello my far away relatives😊
I don’t know where to start,it has been a long bumpy ride to get where I am today. I am excited and happy, regardless. It took me 24 years and 9 months,to bring some clarity in my life,to get here.
I have cried along the way,too many times,I remember crying and only stopping when my head started to ache,I remember waking up with swollen eyes,I remember being worried about the future,I couldn’t sleep the night,I remember the sadness,I remember the distress,but,I also remember the happiness that peeped in,I am just trying to say it hasn’t been easy,but I survived,and conquered,and for that I’m proud of who I am today.
All my life I never had lifetime goals,I never had a major plan,not even once.Most kids say,”I wanna be a doctor/pilot/teacher/singer…when I grow up.” I guess this is where it starts, having an idea of the kind of life you desire or want to live. That wasn’t me,and by the way,I did well in school,but, I just did well because that what people should do when they are in school. My subject teachers would feel that their efforts are paying off,my parents wouldn’t be wasting their money,and I would go through school.
However,I knew I would be successful one day,I would have money and a home of my own. That’s it. I never went into details. I never knew the details anyway. I never had a ‘dream’. It wasn’t until recently that I realized why I never had a life of my dreams. My real night time dreams were usually terrifying, horrific,I would wake up to pray to forget them,and then in real life we are talking about a life of my dreams? No way!
I have been doing some inner work these last two years,I have been deep into it,and guess who has a life of their dream now? Me! This time,I dream with my eyes open,in broad daylight,I see it all unfold on my eyes,I create the dream and guess what else? A plan to make it manifest, because,why not? I am a creator.
For the first,I sat down,and I wrote down all the aspects of my life; what I like,what I desire,what I don’t like,my past stories of who I thought I was, activities I enjoy, basically anything that could pop on my head that relates to what I think I have been all about. I sorted everything out,and I was left with what could be my raw materials to making a foundation to a new way of living life.
This was only last week. It was too much work,and I haven’t managed to put everything into details yet,but it looks good. I love it. Decluttering what is almost twenty-five years of life, can’t be a one-day thing! I am patient with the process,I have never felt so excited about something like I am right now. I am so deep into it.
You know what,I love life, and I am gonna live it with love and openness.
I love you for reading through,see you next time,bye.